“We need to talk”. And no I’m not referring to your spouse telling you this. I’m talking about when “the other” (co parent) says this to your spouse.
In a blended family there are many issues. Some big, some small. Some reoccurring, some one and done. Inevitably you will always encounter SOMETHING. Generally this “something” that you encounter tends to fall right at the moment when you thought you had it all figured out. The kids have been getting along fine. The schedule seems to finally have found some normalcy. The payments are regular (or in some cases you’ve just accepted that they will never be). There hasn’t been a “disagreement” between the adults in weeks. Everything is cool. You think to yourself “I got this. I think I can do this.” And then there it is. The text, call, or email from the other that says “We need to talk”.
There’s this sinking feeling you get. Right in the pit of you’re stomach. WHAT NOW? Because as hard as you try to forget, as much as you don’t want to admit it, there is a whole entire other adult (in some cases adultS) that has the power to rock your entire foundation…if you let them. “We need to talk”. That means something happened. That means something has to change. That means something is going to be altered. That means I’m about to be irritated.
The best thing you can do in this event is, talk. I leave whatever it is up to my husband at first. I don’t have the energy all the time to deal with our daughter’s mother. Not that she’s a bad person. Not at all. She’s really nice. It’s just…I sometimes just don’t have the energy to do it. It’s hard because I love our daughter. Very much. She’s an important piece to our family. But I didn’t make her. I didn’t create her. I have my children that I actively took part in creating and I hold myself 1000% responsible for them. And if I “need to talk” to their other parent I do so. Whether that be my husband or the other. I do that. So when it comes to our daughter I first let my husband and her mother talk. Because that’s their job. I then cross my fingers, toes, arms, legs, and anything else I can I cross, and pray that this is not about to be a BIG DEAL and hope they can just figure it out on their own…
95% of the time it’s not like that. 95% of the time “We need to talk” is a big deal. My husband can’t figure it out on his own. And then it’s time for me to assume my position as Queen and do what Queens do. Even when I don’t want to. Even when I don’t have the energy.
*Sigh* It’s not all rainbows and unicorns. It’s life. But I’d pay GOOD money to never ever hear, see, or have to say the words “We need to talk” in life. Ever. GOOD money. Any takers?
This Brown Queen