I had a different post written. I did. I had a whole other piece written on my feelings at this six month mark in my natural hair journey. I knew what I wanted to say, I took pen to pad and let it out. It was indifferent. But that’s how I felt at that moment in my journey. I don’t know why I didn’t post it. I guess I just didn’t like the language in it. It wasn’t exactly badly written…I just wasn’t keen of the way I was expressing my feelings. A week ago if you would have asked me about my transition I would have replied something like…”It’s going.” Truth is I was at crossroads. Stuck somewhere between if this is really worth it and deciding if maybe a different time would be better. Basically I was at a stalemate. There was nothing pulling me in one way or another and being the passionate person I am, that’s a bad place for me to be in. I absolutely hate feeling stuck.
I hadn’t been able to stick to a regimen. My life is so crazy I just couldn’t commit to anything. And anything I did try was so time consuming I couldn’t keep it up. So I wasn’t really making any progress with finding out what works for my hair. As a result I was still using products that probably weren’t the best fit for me because that’s what (insert any amazing hair envied blogger here) was using to achieve the most awesome fro ever. They were flourishing and I was not. So it was discouraging. It all seemed the same to me. Nothing made me feel like Yassss! Instead just meh. But I was seeing the new growth and seeing my curl pattern….I could see the potential. I could see the possibilities. I just had no idea how to get there and after six months I was at the point that I was just doing this for the sake of doing it and thinking to myself I would look and feel so much better with a relaxer and a flat iron.
You know what I probably would have looked better though. Because I would have taken the time and effort into that, so my appearance would reflect that. The fact is I hadn’t been very persistent in my transition so I was not achieving results that I liked or didn’t like for that matter. I had to DO THIS or don’t. So over the weekend, I looked through my products for something I didn’t use. Something maybe I used before I caught up in all the natural hype. I decided to take a real approach on this. Using the knowledge I learned so far and what I know about my hair, to really figure out how to make this work for me. And then I had my first YASSSS moment. My first moment where I detangled my hair and it was actually detangled. The first moment I felt an instant change in my hair the moment the product touched it. The first time my hair ever was just like “HONEY CHILD this is it!” I was so excited. I mean ecstatic. Who knew a moment so small could mean so much? In that one moment I realized that I could do this. That I could make it. It was all about patience. And hence, this post was written.
I’m working on a new post for ya’ll with regimen and product details but like I mentioned I really don’t have one of those and I’m still stumbling and fumbling my way through this whole thing. But one thing is for certain, halfway through and I’ve finally had a breakthrough. Be encouraged queens!
Peace, Love, & Blessings