……well….I’m really not sure how to start this post without indulging an extreme TMI. And let’s be honest, ya’ll might like me a little but I’m sure you guys don’t want to know every detail of my life…especially this. BUT, this IS This Brown Queen afterall, and that would be me so…
Where in the world is my postpartum period? Like…king jr is definitely 6 months old in 3 days. And yes, to mine and EVERYONE surrounding me surprise, I am STILL breastfeeding! WHOOOHOOO! If you’re a breastfeeding nut you’ll affectionately refer to this accomplishment as SILVER boobies. Yup that’s what we call them. So what. That’s what I’m going to have. And I’m soooo proud of myself for this! Although I don’t pump as much as I should at work, and king jr definitely has his fair share of formula, when Mommy is around it is all liquid gold aka breast milk :).
That being said…I guess my period just decided it’s just NOT going to come back. Which is fine! I’m not complaining. But I’m getting prettyyyy tired of lowkey freaking out every other day that I might get preggo again. Don’t get me wrong, I love babies as much as the next Queen but I’m pretty sure I’ve shut down this kingdom ;). So if it could just come back and just let me know that it is still around that’d be cool. Until then, I guess I’m doomed to have mini anxiety attacks at every wince, weird smell, and ill feeling -___-.
This Brown Queen
As I reflect back to merely 5 months ago, the memory of what “exactly” went down on October 28, 2012 (and 2008, both my princes were born on the same day 4 years apart. I know. I’m awesome.) is kind of blurry. I don’t really remember the pain anymore. I don’t really remember what was said, or screamed. It all went so fast. Thankfully I was blessed with a super fast lightening speed labor both times. In and out less than 5 hours. YES! My body is completely healed as far as I can tell. Those hours in labor are just a distant faded memory. I guess this is exactly how God intended it to be. I assume us Queens are meant to forget. Because if we were to remember exactly what went down in Labor & Delivery, why would we EVER do it again?!?!
But here’s one thing I do remember. The scariest thing about childbirth for me. During the moments right before you actually give birth, and do so with a failed epidural (if you’re me) so you’re in immense pain, and you literally just want to give up because you can’t possibly push an entire human being out of your lady parts, you realize that: One way or another, there’s a kid inside you…and it HAS to come out. And there’s nothing you can do about it.
And then they are here. And you’d do it all again.
This Brown Queen
I’m talking about breastfeeding. And yes I am proud.
I’m not exactly what you’d call a breastfeeding extremist. I don’t bash formula (in fact I feed my son it often). I’m not screaming breast milk is the best milk. I won’t look down on queens who don’t breastfeed. But for my personal journey, I am QUITE excited about my accomplishment of being only a month shy of SILVER BOOBIES!! (My boobs aren’t actually silver but that’s code name in breastfeeding culture for 6 months of nursing). What I will tell you, are my thoughts, my personal experiences, and my decision to breastfeed my son.
I like to think I have unbiased view of breastfeeding. I have two sons, one I breastfed, one I didn’t. I can tell you what it’s like from both sides of the fence. Of course that makes me no expert, but that makes me experienced so here goes.
Shawn is my oldest prince. I didn’t breastfeed him. I was young, easily influenced, and I let mainstream society views sway my decision. I didn’t want to breastfeed. People thought it was weird. People thought it was sexual. My boobs would get saggy (Queens listen…they gonna sag…embrace it). I respectfully declined the invitation at the hospital. No thanks I’m fine. But then we got home and the problems started. He didn’t react well to regular formula. So we switched to Soy. And that made him constipated. We switched back and forth to no avail and so there was an actual period in time where my prince was so uncomfortable that I had to literally help him poop each morning while he screamed at the top of his lungs in pain. It lasted a month or so then all was fine. He caught colds, but he was fine. We bonded just great. And once my milk dried up, my boobs sagged a bit. Oh well. Embrace it. If I could do it all over again: I would breastfeed.
My youngest prince Joey was born. I breastfed him. I was older. I didn’t care. I’m breastfeeding this baby. Who cares what anyone thinks about it. My boobs…well…as long as my husband likes them. Where’s my baby, take this breast. But then we got home and the challenges started. For breastfeeding to be so natural it’s HARD. Those first few weeks are torture! All he did was want to eat. All day. All night. I was leaking everywhere. It was a nightmare. And I ALMOST quit. In fact. I did quit. I told my husband I was done. Thanks for his support. Bought some formula (the kind that Shawn did best with) and was done. Except, Joey didn’t quit. And giving him a bottle was even worse than breastfeeding 24/7. He looked at me like I was crazy and just wouldn’t accept it. He kept searching for his “real milk” and when he got frustrated he freaked. Like crying so hard he turned red. I gave up and let him nurse and the INSTANT comfort he had melted my heart. I couldn’t stop. So I kept at it. And next thing I know, it was second nature. And so here we are 5 months in and I’ll keep going until he wants to stop.
It’s not always easy but the best things in life usually aren’t. But it’s worth it. Going back to work, it’s been bittersweet. Pumping S.U.C.K.S. but our bonding time at home makes up for it. If you were to ask me in public I’d say: There’s no need to ask me if I’ll be breastfeeding my next kid because I’m DONE! But if you were to ask me for real, ya know, between queens I’d say: Well…if I were to try once more for that princess, YES MA’AM I’m breastfeeding!
This Brown Queen