Mommy Files: Conscious Parenting

Oprah Lifeclass

If you follow me on Twitter or Instagram you’ll see me talk a lot about my boys. In case you’re new around here, I have three ages 9, 6, & 2. Up until this year when our oldest entered 4th grade, we’ve been pretty much smooth sailing. Our boys are good kids. They do kid things and get good grades. But 4th grade has been like…a whole new world. And that’s not to say things are bad, but more so I’m definitely noticing a change when it comes to parenting our oldest. So when I heard about Oprah’s Lifeclass on OWN with Dr. Shefali Sunday about Conscious Parenting I definitely wanted to tune in and figure out what is going on inside the head of kids…specifically this almost 10 year old fourth grade son of mines. Continue reading

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Beyond Beauty: Self Love…

If you’ve been following the blog for some time you may have come across my Love Yourself Completely post. I’ve posted it twice here and both times I was met with such love and encouragement from Queens (here and on my social media accounts) about the message. In that post I talk about loving yourself completely and embracing everything about you. Total self acceptance. “Flaws” and all. I also talked about the things I experienced in my past that I learned to embrace and accept about myself. That transparency with you all was major for me. I’ve never really spoke out on something so personal. Writing about beauty is easy. It comes naturally to me and it’s something I’m passionate about. But what’s not so easy is being transparent and I was really happy to see such positive feedback.

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Shea Moisture Olive & Marula Baby Review!

And my obsession continues. I really am just totally in love with Shea Moisture. Not just because my hair loves their raw shea butter deep treatment masque, or that my skin thrives off their Coconut & Hibiscus face and body bar, even though these are MAJOR…but I’m a sucker for branding and Shea Moisture has really done an amazing job hands down. So when they started releasing products that I could buy for the whole family, well you KNOW I was all for it!

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Motherhood | Celebrate Breastfeeding

National Breastfeeding MonthHey loves! Since last week was celebrated as World Breastfeeding Week and August has been dedicated as National Breastfeeding Month I figured this would be the perfect time to share a little more about this beautiful journey.  I haven’t visited the topic of breastfeeding on This Brown Queen since here, when I was celebrating 5 months! Well, August marks 10 months still going strong and I am SO happy and proud of my accomplishment!

Ok, let’s get this out there: I’m not about formula bashing. Nope. So if you’re expecting some long winded breast milk is the best milk and formula is poison rant…you’re at the wrong blog. Sorry. Although I’ve made it 10 months, I won’t for one second pretend my son has not had formula. In fact, at 10 months we’re kind of 50/50. That’s what works for ME and MY FAMILY so that’s what we do. Breastfeeding alone is a very personal decision, so of course each woman’s journey is going to be very personal and unique. Far too often I see these guidelines of what and how you SHOULD be breastfeeding and to be honest, it can be a bit intimidating and overwhelming. It’s no wonder that women run to the hills. I’m here to tell you that, there is no guideline. You do what’s best for you and your family. If nursing all day works for you, nurse. If you feel better pumping and taking turns with your partner, do that. If you need help, don’t be ashamed to reach out and get it. There are many resources available to women who need assistance. Check out La Leche League or visit your local WIC center for helpful information.

If I could give one piece of advice to newly breastfeeding mamas or those who are thinking about it, it would be: Don’t Give Up. The beginning is hard. There will be moments you want to quit. It can be exhausting, draining, and overall just difficult. But this passes. I promise. Breastfeeding for me was the best decision I’ve ever made. It’s easier, healthier, and the bond between my son and I is like no other. Push through those days and you won’t regret it.

For more information on National Breastfeeding Month visit: USbreastfeeding.org

Peace, Love, & Blessings

Tyshia Shante
Founder & Editor of This Brown Queen

**Stay Connected! Follow me on Twitter @thisbrownqueen & Instagram @tyshia_shante**

What Are We Teaching Our Sons?

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As most of you know, I’m about 2 months into my journey of transitioning to natural hair and I have my good days and bad. I think it’s safe to assume that, anyone who has been on this journey experiences moments in the beginning where you’re just not sure. Not sure about a lot things. If you’re me, your unsureness would go something like: Am I using the right products? Will this leave in work? Did I do those twists right? Does this bantu knot look nice? Do I look crazy? Why am I doing this? Whatever the case may be, you go through it. This past weekend, I was having a particularly rough time with my twist out. I’m somewhere between the point where, I “like” my natural texture, but I still don’t really know how to handle it. I’m wishing that I could just NOT have the relaxed ends anymore because they make me frustrated. I find myself trying out styles and loving the natural curl pattern at the root and just being utterly disappointed at how my relaxed ends just don’t hold up. BUT I still can’t really grasp the idea of cutting it all off. It’s a catch 22 I tell ya.

So, I did a twist out using my method that I talked about here. It was a success! I was feeling pretty confident and loving my big hair, don’t care. The Mr. was loving it. I was feeling myself…And then I had an interesting moment with my 4 year old prince. Now in case you’re new around here, I used to be relaxed, super relaxed, like every 4 – 6 weeks touch up relaxed. Thought I was gone with the wind fabulous *insert Kenya twirl*. This is the mother my son always saw. So now 2 months in to my natural journey…my prince spoke up. We’re in the car and he says “Mommy? Are you going to get you’re hot bun back?” (that’s what he calls a bun). I say “Why? You don’t like my hair?” Prince Shawn replies in a ever so sweet way “Well…I do…but…your hair just looks a little crazy.”

Now. HOW would my son know what crazy looks like? I feel it’s safe to assume that his idea of “crazy” had to come, at least in part, from me. I felt disappointed. I had inadvertly taught my son the very thing that I was now trying to go against. Why must my natural hair look crazy? I thought I was WERKING it. And I WAS.

That brief, and probably super insignificant to him, conversation got me thinking. What am I teaching my sons about natural hair. I’m the first woman they encounter in life. What do I want them to learn? To remember? It’s definitely not that natural hair looks crazy. So while I’m still unsure on many things, what I am sure of is I’m on the right journey!

Peace, Love, & Blessings,

~

This Brown Queen

To Whom Much Is Given…

“…from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more.” ~ Luke 12:48

I don’t really know why I chose this scripture for this post. It just kind of resonated with me. Like many Queens, THIS brown queen does it all. And no, I’m not boasting or bragging. Don’t you know that I would LOVE an assistant, a mother’s helper, a clone, ANYTHING to help me with my day to day tasks?! I’m sure we all do! But, I don’t have those things. It’s just me (and the Mr.) So I gotta do it all. There’s motherhood and marriage. Then there’s my 9 – 5 and entrepreneur aspirations. That alone is enough to fill 24 hours in a instant. Seriously. When 8 hours is supposed to be devoted to sleeping and 8 hours is spent bringing home the bacon, you’re only left with 8 hours to live! Really?? Whose idea was that? So in 8 hours I must raise my children, maintain my home, nurture my marriage, and grind to achieve my dream of being an entrepreneur.

So what happens? I’m sure ya’ll know the answer to this! Things get crazy. I mean real crazy. And 8 hours of sleep? What is that? Somebody let King Jr. know about this because clearly he doesn’t care. Like at all, about no 8 hours of sleep ;). Life becomes a constant flow of this and that. Days pass by faster than they feel. And nights feel nonexistent. It’s easy to get caught up in it all and feel overwhelmed. I know ALL about that. I can write a book about it. No literally I could.

Mostly, I try to maintain balance. Multitasking is my middle name, but I still leave certain things for certain times as it should be. This is key to my sanity. When it’s family time. It’s family time. When it’s time to work I’m in my zone. And I strive to do my best at my job just as I would in any other aspect of my life. Certainly most times you can find me iPhone in hand, baby on hip, two kids in tow. And I’d have it no other way. But BALANCE is key. When the time calls to put down the iPhone and eat dinner (which we do every night as a family!) than that is what must be done.

My point to this entire post which may seem like random ramblings is to say…I was blessed with my husband and my children. With my job and my talents. With my dreams and my goals. So if that means I have work a little harder in life than the next person so be it. I was given these blessings so it’s only right I’m expected to make the very most of this life!

Peace, Love, & Blessings.

~

This Brown Queen

Happy Mother’s Day!

I’d like to start off by first saying a very Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers, stepmothers, godmothers, grandmothers, adopted mothers, honorary mothers…Today is YOUR day! Enjoy it to the very fullest.

For this brown queen, my day started off with breakfast in bed from the Mr. A sausage omelet and a green smoothie ;). Simple and exactly what I wanted. Then the princes came in and gave me hugs, cards, poems and lots of love. King Jr. had a card he “made” at daycare that was beyonddd cute!!

My presentsss: I love homemade gifts from my kids!

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One of the most notable moments this Mother’s Day though, was when my (step)daughter called me bright and early to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day. AND her mother sent me a Happy Mother’s Day text….Ya’ll don’t hear me though. I am beyond excited that we have come so far in our blended family where our daughters mother can have her call me and they both wish me a Happy’s Mother’s Day. I wished her the same and let my oldest as well. I hope one day all families that are in situations like mine can come to a point like this. We are ALL mothers. We have the same struggles, the same joys, the same goal. To be as great mothers as we can be!

So, today I kick up my feet (for all of 5 minutes cuz this macaroni and cheese ain’t gonna bake itself…and no, I love my husband but we’re not letting him be in charge of that!), chill with my babies, and have dinner with the moms of my family. Wishing you all a very enjoyable Mother’s Day & God Bless!

Peace, Love, and Blessings!

~

This Brown Queen