Can’t believe it’s really been 6 months since my big chop and 15 months since I started this hair journey. At this point you’d think this natural thing would be second nature right? While I won’t say that I’m an expert, I have learned a thing or two. The most important lessons being: There’s always something new to learn and Accept her exactly how she is.
I feel like I haven’t done a favorites post in so long. Every time I try to get back on board…I fail *Kanye shrug*. But let us not dwell on the past and instead focus on how awesome is it that I’m doing a monthly favorites on the last day of the actual month! Do you know how major that is?! Of course, because it’s me, most (read all) of my favorites are beauty things. That’s just the kinda girl I am <3.
Loves! It’s Monday, it’s May, and I’m back! I could start this post and go into where I’ve been this last week or so but I don’t even want to relive the craziness that was me waiting to pick up my Macbook from being repaired. It. Got. Real. I’d rather just jump right in and put all that behind me :). What better way to get back into things this week than with a beauty review! I’ve been trying and testing and trying some more and here it is finally! My first review of the Shea Moisture makeup line!
Heyy loves! It’s been a little while since I’ve posted about my hair and I wanted to check in with all my lovely naturalistas! Let ya’ll know what’s been up and fill you in on how I’ve been maintaining my crown. For those of you who’ve been following my journey, you’d know that back in November I ended my transition and cut my hair. If you haven’t been following definitely read about my big chop and my initial thoughts!
Hello my lovely queens. So I’m about two weeks post big chop and the feelings of “what in the world did I just do” are finally subsiding. At the end of the day loves…it’s just hair. Or is it?
Chopping all your damn hair off is a pretty monumental moment. I mean, hair, as I referred to it in my last post, is your crown and glory. And people regard it as such. Not just for us naturals but for everyone. We spend millions on hair products whether it’s shea butter, relaxer, or brazilian remi, we take great pride in our hair. So to cut it…all…it’s a bold move. I had a come to Jesus moment staring at my reflection and kinky hair. There is no hiding at that moment queens. This is you.
What were my thoughts? Oh I touched on everything from what hashtag I can use on my instagram pics to dreaming of going to Africa. I’m weird like that though…my mind tends to wander. But in all honesty it got deep. Somewhere between what would people say, and I how I could explain my decision…I got to thinking. What am I defending? The natural hair that grows out of my head? My thinking that kinky hair is MY beautiful? I didn’t have to put chemicals in my hair, or iron it bone straight to fit a standard of beauty that was not me.
It got deeper though. I started to realize how crazy this whole thing really was. When I really started to think about it, it was upsetting. Why did brown women chemically relax and straighten our hair? Why was straight hair something to be admired and kinky hair frowned upon? Why are we changing who we are in order to feel beautiful? I thought about so many phrases and things people have said over my life in regards to hair. What’s “good” hair, and how to make your hair “look nice”. According to what standard though was the question. I concluded that it honestly didn’t matter. The hair that I was given WAS good. The way my hair grew from its roots LOOKED NICE. Period.
This is a journey, as you’ve probably heard many of us making the return to natural say. It’s a process that doesn’t end after you cut those last relaxed ends off. Honestly for me…it was actually just the beginning. Embracing my natural hair.
Peace, Love, & Blessings
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I had a different post written. I did. I had a whole other piece written on my feelings at this six month mark in my natural hair journey. I knew what I wanted to say, I took pen to pad and let it out. It was indifferent. But that’s how I felt at that moment in my journey. I don’t know why I didn’t post it. I guess I just didn’t like the language in it. It wasn’t exactly badly written…I just wasn’t keen of the way I was expressing my feelings. A week ago if you would have asked me about my transition I would have replied something like…”It’s going.” Truth is I was at crossroads. Stuck somewhere between if this is really worth it and deciding if maybe a different time would be better. Basically I was at a stalemate. There was nothing pulling me in one way or another and being the passionate person I am, that’s a bad place for me to be in. I absolutely hate feeling stuck.
I hadn’t been able to stick to a regimen. My life is so crazy I just couldn’t commit to anything. And anything I did try was so time consuming I couldn’t keep it up. So I wasn’t really making any progress with finding out what works for my hair. As a result I was still using products that probably weren’t the best fit for me because that’s what (insert any amazing hair envied blogger here) was using to achieve the most awesome fro ever. They were flourishing and I was not. So it was discouraging. It all seemed the same to me. Nothing made me feel like Yassss! Instead just meh. But I was seeing the new growth and seeing my curl pattern….I could see the potential. I could see the possibilities. I just had no idea how to get there and after six months I was at the point that I was just doing this for the sake of doing it and thinking to myself I would look and feel so much better with a relaxer and a flat iron.
You know what I probably would have looked better though. Because I would have taken the time and effort into that, so my appearance would reflect that. The fact is I hadn’t been very persistent in my transition so I was not achieving results that I liked or didn’t like for that matter. I had to DO THIS or don’t. So over the weekend, I looked through my products for something I didn’t use. Something maybe I used before I caught up in all the natural hype. I decided to take a real approach on this. Using the knowledge I learned so far and what I know about my hair, to really figure out how to make this work for me. And then I had my first YASSSS moment. My first moment where I detangled my hair and it was actually detangled. The first moment I felt an instant change in my hair the moment the product touched it. The first time my hair ever was just like “HONEY CHILD this is it!” I was so excited. I mean ecstatic. Who knew a moment so small could mean so much? In that one moment I realized that I could do this. That I could make it. It was all about patience. And hence, this post was written.
I’m working on a new post for ya’ll with regimen and product details but like I mentioned I really don’t have one of those and I’m still stumbling and fumbling my way through this whole thing. But one thing is for certain, halfway through and I’ve finally had a breakthrough. Be encouraged queens!
Peace, Love, & Blessings
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This Brown Queen 