“…from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more.” ~ Luke 12:48
I don’t really know why I chose this scripture for this post. It just kind of resonated with me. Like many Queens, THIS brown queen does it all. And no, I’m not boasting or bragging. Don’t you know that I would LOVE an assistant, a mother’s helper, a clone, ANYTHING to help me with my day to day tasks?! I’m sure we all do! But, I don’t have those things. It’s just me (and the Mr.) So I gotta do it all. There’s motherhood and marriage. Then there’s my 9 – 5 and entrepreneur aspirations. That alone is enough to fill 24 hours in a instant. Seriously. When 8 hours is supposed to be devoted to sleeping and 8 hours is spent bringing home the bacon, you’re only left with 8 hours to live! Really?? Whose idea was that? So in 8 hours I must raise my children, maintain my home, nurture my marriage, and grind to achieve my dream of being an entrepreneur.
So what happens? I’m sure ya’ll know the answer to this! Things get crazy. I mean real crazy. And 8 hours of sleep? What is that? Somebody let King Jr. know about this because clearly he doesn’t care. Like at all, about no 8 hours of sleep ;). Life becomes a constant flow of this and that. Days pass by faster than they feel. And nights feel nonexistent. It’s easy to get caught up in it all and feel overwhelmed. I know ALL about that. I can write a book about it. No literally I could.
Mostly, I try to maintain balance. Multitasking is my middle name, but I still leave certain things for certain times as it should be. This is key to my sanity. When it’s family time. It’s family time. When it’s time to work I’m in my zone. And I strive to do my best at my job just as I would in any other aspect of my life. Certainly most times you can find me iPhone in hand, baby on hip, two kids in tow. And I’d have it no other way. But BALANCE is key. When the time calls to put down the iPhone and eat dinner (which we do every night as a family!) than that is what must be done.
My point to this entire post which may seem like random ramblings is to say…I was blessed with my husband and my children. With my job and my talents. With my dreams and my goals. So if that means I have work a little harder in life than the next person so be it. I was given these blessings so it’s only right I’m expected to make the very most of this life!
Peace, Love, & Blessings.
This Brown Queen
…about my natural hair! Me and a natural friend of mine were lounging around talking about all things Natural Hair. We were comparing types, products, going through our journey, our feelings, thoughts. It’s really great to have friends that are going through the same journey as you! We’re both at different stages in our journey and our lives so it was interesting to have this Natural discussion :). I’ve known this girl going on a decade and her going natural was a complete surprise to me. She is the one who taught me how do my own weaves in college! She has always told me how much she loves her weave…And now she’s natural!?! I am so amazed and proud of her. She’s a bit farther in her journey than I and she’s a single independent Queen! One of the things that came up of course was learning how to embrace our hair in its natural state. She made a comment when I said her fro was cute that went something like, her biggest obstacle was learning that her hair WAS cute. Getting out of the mindset that long and straight is not the end all be all to be beautiful is tough when you’ve been accustomed to this way of thinking for so long. I understood where she was coming from as I’m sure many of us that decide to go natural experience this in the beginning. She then continued to say that for me, it was different, I didn’t have to worry about being cute because I was married, she had to find someone who would embrace her natural hair in a society where the majority of us brown queens have weaves down our backs. I kindly told my sister that NOOOO it was harder for me because my husband met the relaxed Queen. The one who paid hundreds tor “Remi”, and hundreds to get that remi sew-in. The one who had hair down past my bra strap. That’s the Queen he married! So for me to go natural was scary because…what if my husband DIDN’T like it. What then? Do I stop? Do I tell him get over it?
Thankfully that is NOT how my husband feels 🙂 🙂 :). He’s yet to see it in person but we skype everyday and of course there’s Instagram ;). To put it simply he LOVESSS it. Yesterday during our daily skype session we were chatting about the kids and his tour coming to an end when he interrupted me midsentence to tell me how much he is loving my natural hair. He said it’s gorgeous and he only wishes I would have had the confidence to do it while he was home. He then did a little dance singing about how much he loves his natural queen. Then did a victory dance about never having to spend money on weave again and proclaimed that he never ever wanted to see me in a weave or relaxer again. Gggoosshhh do I love that man <3! He is so supportive. And honestly I think he’d support whatever decision I made with that same level of enthusiasm because that’s just the kind of guy he is :)….nevertheless I can still be elated that he is supporting this journey of mine!
This Brown Queen
Today my husband left to go on tour. He’ll be gone for a month overseas touring Russia, Belarus, and Ukraine. Following my last post I had an idea. Touring never gets easy. Trust me. There’s something really unsettling about seeing your spouse everyday and then having him disappear for days, weeks, and now a month at a time. It’s like this weird situation where you feel bounced between married life and single parent life and it’s quite the experience. It’s been my personal goal to get better at this. To not feel so alone, and lost when my husband goes away. I decided that being the Queen that I am, I can be just as amazing and fabulous when hubby’s away. It doesn’t have to stop! My fun doesn’t have to end! I can still be great! The kids and I can still do family things! I don’t have to sit around waiting until he returns.
One of the things I’ve noticed most about myself (and one of the main reasons I started this blog) was that I tend to put myself last on my list of things to do. Most days you can find me so consumed with my family and husband that I don’t find the time to take care of me! I’ve gotten TREMENDOUSLY better at this but there’s still a ways to go. And regression is a pain. So I’m going to take this month to perfect my craft. To truly be the BROWN QUEEN that I am. I’m going to make this month a personal journey. For the next 32 days, I will focus on this brown queen. I hope you enjoy my life in 32 days!
This Brown Queen
One of the most interesting aspects of my life is that I’m married to a professional dancer. My husband is the Assistant Artistic Director of a Hip Hop dance company that performs locally, nationally, and internationally. I use the word “interesting” because that’s really the only word that I can really use to describe my lifestyle as the Queen of a Dance King. It’s interesting. My husband’s demanding profession comes with a lot of baggage. It’s a double-sided coin this life. There’s the fact that I married to an artist. And anyone who knows artists know how they are about their passion. On one hand it’s inspiring. To see him perform, to see how passionate he is about what he does, you can’t not be inspired at his story. But with great passion comes great sacrifice. Which for my family means, birthdays are missed, holidays are passed without him, month long tours leave me feeling like a single parent, missing my husband, lonely nights. Sometimes I feel as though we (myself and the kids) are the only ones who feel the sacrifice of his profession…which I’m sure isn’t true. I can only wonder what he feels being away so often. But he’s doing what he loves. His career is his passion. And to see from where he’s come it’s truly an inspiration.
There are ups and downs as with any profession or circumstance. So instead of looking at the glass half empty, choose to think of it as half full. I found that positivity is key. I’m inspired by my husband. To do what I love. He opens my eyes to a different world. A different way of thinking. That anything is possible.
This Brown Queen
This past Monday, my husband I did something random. It was a Monday, but our local “getaway spot” was having some good deals on hotels. I was able to get us a King Suite for less than $75 a night. So I called my mom wayyy in advance to babysit for a night. I didn’t tell my husband at first. I casually waited until right before he was leaving for a tour to tell him that when he came home we were going away. He was superrr hype! YES! I surprised him.
Monday after work we packed a bag and hit the road. An hour later it was just me and hubby in Atlantic City. We had a ball! No kids?! What! Just us? What! We turned that little one night getaway all the the way up!
If I could sum up our night away in three words it would be “We needed that”. Life gets crazy. With children, his demanding work schedule, our daily grind and routine. It’s easy to get in a rut. And it’s easy to miss each other even when you see each other everyday. It’s even easier when your spouse travels for work like mines. I never want to be in a marriage where we miss each other without even realizing it till one day we don’t even know each other! No ma’am. That is not for this Queen.
It’s important to keep it fresh. Keep it interesting. Have with each other. Plan time for just you and your King if that’s only a quick one night get away. Trust me. You’ll wake up the next day feeling totally refreshed!
This Brown Queen